Christine Wu, 3/23/2021, Period 5, Day B

Christine Wu

Period 5

3/23/2021

Day B

What are your thoughts and feelings about issues of inequity, oppression, and/or power?

I’ve been thinking about the increase of Asian hate crimes recently, and how that’s because of the sinophobia and xenophobia that runs rampant in the United States due to the coronavirus’s country of origin. However, sinophobia and xenophobia isn’t a new thing in the United States; there have been many instances in history where it shines through quite clearly. For example, the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882 prohibited Chinese immigrants from entering the US. But shouldn’t we know better by now? Unfortunately, white supremacy has always been an issue around the world, not just in the United States. There have been many instances recently that sparked the spike in xenophobia, one of them being the many instances where Donald Trump, the former President of the United States, had called the coronavirus “Kung-Flu,” or “China Virus,” all which stigmatized Chinese people. Eventually, this led to people who weren’t even Chinese getting hate crimed simply because they were Asian. 

I think it’s very unfair that just because a white man had a “bad day,” eight lives, six being Asian, were lost because of it. I think it’s very unfair that he shot up the spas because he was feeling sexually frustrated. I think it’s very unfair that Asian American women are so hypersexualized in the media as docile and meek that things like this happen. I think it’s very unfair that it took something this large for people to realize that this, in fact, was a problem. 

However, I am glad that people are realizing that this is a problem and that Asian voices are being heard. I am glad that people of color are grouping together in solidarity against white supremacy, and I can only hope that this continues on. 

How do you reflect critically on your own beliefs, assumptions, values, and experiences, and how these can influence your perception of self and others?

I’d like to say that I’m biased only because I am Asian-American, and I can find myself seeing either myself or members of my family in these victims, and I am scared that it might happen to me one day because people are ignorant. I’ve always known that I didn’t fit in ever since my elementary school had been predominantly white. They didn’t like the same things I did, and even though they never said it out loud, I could feel the side eyes they gave my Hello Panda chocolate biscuits that I had brought in for snack time while everyone else had Goldfish crackers. Teachers expected me to do well because I was Asian, not because I was gifted in my own way. It was only recently that Lunar New Year became a holiday the DOE closed schools for, and I still remember being disappointed that I’d have to attend school in the first grade while everyone else got to celebrate at home. It was growing up trying to whitewash myself that really makes me reflect on my own beliefs, especially now in quarantine where I’ve been in constant contact with my very traditional family. Sometimes, Cantonese doesn’t flow right when I speak, words that I knew years ago only to disappear when I needed it now. I forgot how to say simple, everyday words like “stove,” or “soy sauce.” It was in those simple words that I think I’m losing my heritage, and I get angry at myself for it. Sometimes, I long to be white, because it was so much easier.  

 I read more nowadays, books about orientalism, books about East Asian history, books with Asian main characters that I never got to see in my childhood. Looking back, I thought “Cinder” was so progressive for its vaguely East Asian setting! I listen to Asian artists, to Mitski, to Rina Sawayama, to BTS, whose Asian identity resonates in their music that they create. I still cry to “Your Best American Girl” sometimes, talking about how hard it is to fit in in a white society. By consuming these facets of media, I think that it creates a sense of unity within the Asian community. I think it creates a sense of peace in me, because I’m choosing to think about my identity, about my beliefs, about my ideals and perception of other people. I’m choosing to embrace my Asian-ness.