Milena Olkhovetsky, Period 5, 3/4/2021, Day B

Milena Olkhovetsky

Period 5

03/04/2021

Day B

Modern Mythology 2021


Goal Setting & Growth

At this current point in time, what specific goal(s) do you have for yourself? Why?

“Current point in time”, kind of makes what I’m about to say a tad more embarrassing doesn’t it? For the past 4-5 years of my life, I have struggled with a fear of being perceived in a negative way. I care too much about what people think of me and often times fabricate false beliefs about how others see me. It has stopped me from enjoying my time with loved ones, pursuing hobbies, and living life to the fullest. Despite the fact that I clearly had amazing friends that wanted to support me, I only felt truly comfortable with a select number of people. I thought this was just a feature of my personality, a product of my upbringing so to speak. However, not only is that kind of thinking harmful to me, but it’s also unfair to the people around me. For all that they have given me, the least that they deserve is to see the true me. So once quarantine began, I decided to truly tackle this belief. I no longer wanted it to define me as a person, I wanted to change. As I am writing this blog, I am constantly asking myself “Why would you share something so personal? Everyone else is writing about college or schoolwork for this prompt anyway.” The answer to that question is very simple actually. Publishing this blog is yet another step towards my goal. It’s a hurdle that I must pass and I think it is something that I can take pride in once I have done it.

How do you demonstrate resilience towards achieving this goal? (or these goals?)

Of course, a change in mindset isn’t enough. I’m well aware of that because I’ve tried so many times before. Simply not caring or turning a blind eye to this issue wasn’t the solution that I needed. The path that I chose is slightly unorthodox and it kind of sounds counterintuitive. My holy grail for these past few months has actually been Snapchat. Strangely enough, social media, something notorious for tearing down the self-esteems of teenagers was the tool that I used to restore my own. At the beginning of quarantine, I placed all of my closest friends into a private story on the app. It provided me with a visual representation of the people who are most important to me and those that I should really focus on rather than complete strangers. It was hard at first, sitting and thinking over one picture or video, one simple caption, and how certain people would react to it. What got me through was reminding myself that the people that see this are those that would never think badly of me and always support me. I began to think of this private story as a gift to those that I loved and appreciated, a glimpse into the person that I want to show them in public someday. However, I have a long way to go before I can reach that point and that’s totally okay. Even though I still experience small bouts of fear in public, I feel like I’m making good progress. I feel happier and have found amazing people and passions along the way as well!

How does the world around you affect your perception of this goal? (or these goals?)

Frankly, the world around me is what inspired me to pursue this goal in the first place. My closest friends are some of the most outspoken and confident people I know and I truly admire that about them. They constantly push me to stand up for myself and enjoy what I do in life. Really all I want to do is make them proud. I dedicate my goal to them as much as I do to myself because they are my biggest supporters. They encourage me to take risks when I’m scared, to say no when I want to, and to live life for myself. Without them, I would have never made this much progress and I truly thank them for that.