Nicole Varghese, 5/6/21, PD 8, Day C

Nicole Varghese

Period 8

May 6, 2021

Day C 

Goal Setting and Growth 

At this current point in time, what specific goal(s) do you have for yourself? Why?

As nonsensical as it sounds, my biggest fear in life is growing up. It is something that haunts me especially when the new year starts because I know that my birthday will be in just a matter of months in April. This year was my golden birthday which is when one’s birthday date matches their age. Knowing this along with the fact that I was turning eighteen made it especially hard for me to cope with my feelings about growing up. This age is seen as a milestone point in one’s life and as something that should be celebrated. However, I was feeling anxious, powerless, and nostalgic and these emotions overwhelmed me after the clock struck twelve that day. Having to commit to a college soon and eventually having to start a whole new chapter of my academic journey added to my fear. I had a tough time with the college admissions process and just trying to think about the future. I wanted to live in the present and let things fall into place on its own. My goals should be to overcome my fear and be able to face life proactively. I need to realize that I am the “master of my own fate” and “the captain of my own soul.” This is crucial because taking control gives one a sense of autonomy and power over the course of their life. Rather than being fearful of something that’s natural, I should learn to embrace my age and stage in life. 

How do you demonstrate resilience towards achieving this goal? (or these goals?)

The fact that I am able to write about this fear of mine and talk about it on different occasions with others shows resilience because I am making an effort to share my feelings with others. This allows me to better understand myself in an attempt to overcome my fear. Also, for college applications, I was forced to think about the future and what I would want to do in college and beyond. Doing the applications actually revealed a lot to me about myself as well as my passions and aspirations for the future. There’s less than two months of high school and even though I can’t believe it, I am working on trying to embrace it. I hope to make the best of these last months before becoming a college student. A lot of my goals are actions I have to take mentally and psychologically so I can change my attitude about growing up. I am trying to understand why I feel negatively about growing up and thinking about the future which go hand in hand for me. I know that in an earlier stage of my life, I wouldn’t even be able to identify the goals that I talked about above. Therefore, the fact that I am able to recognize the need to conquer my fear demonstrates my desire to grow and develop. I am actively trying to instill a proactive mindset for myself and develop a promising vision for my future with positive feelings and associations.

How does the world around you affect your perception of this goal? (or these goals?)

Like I said before, I have been able to talk to different people such as my family and friends about my fear of growing up. They helped me to cope especially on my birthday because I don’t even like getting birthday wishes. Communication with others has helped me to pop the bubble I was in and adapt a more healthy mindset. I once saw a quote that said “time is a social construct” which intrigued me because it brought up the question of whether time is even real. I guess this made me feel somewhat better about my fear of growing up and having less time to live. Also, I have talked to my best friend about how I feel like because of the current situation that we are in, in the midst of a global pandemic, we are losing time. Especially people my age who are considered to be in their youth are losing time that we’ll never get back because of quarantine and the lack of normalcy. It’s important to be safe for the sake of ourselves and others during this time but I can’t help but think how we’ve had to sacrifice that year of our life. However, this has made me more appreciative of time and has taught me to be grateful for the blessings in my life that I take for granted. All of these aspects only give me a more motivated perspective to pursue my goal because I want to make the most out of the time that I have.